Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
