so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
