Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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