Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
