i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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