i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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