he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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