Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
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