We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
