You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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