2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
