he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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