If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i already hear my dad disowning me
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
