I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
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he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
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Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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