i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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