i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
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I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
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I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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