so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
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He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
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I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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