we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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