They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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