Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
