How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
