i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
