I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize