I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Randomize
