can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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