belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
