Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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