He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
