So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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