THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
third nipple confirmed
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
