It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
