I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
ttyl tear gas
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
