Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize