I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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