You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
