im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
