He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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