Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
