I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
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I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
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This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
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