Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
