I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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