Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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