Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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