Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
