Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
