should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
