she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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