There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
