I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
