If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Randomize
