That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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