college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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