I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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