just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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