My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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