And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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