I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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