You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
it was like his penis was on wheels.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
