we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
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he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
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I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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