his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Randomize
