I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
No stitches, just platelets and will power
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
