still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
