turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
