So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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