he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
