i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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